Regularly Scheduled Programming

After a month hiatus in order to honor mothers every day...I'm baaaaack!

Three cheers for all the women (and Tim too!) who wrote pieces as Guest Bloggers during the month of May. I really enjoyed each and every story and am so thankful that each of you chose to participate. I loved reading the new stories and perspectives on motherhood every day. Each of you has touched so many people with your stories--be it with a much needed laugh or cry for that matter, to let others know that they are not alone, or to simply show others the beauty that sharing can bring.

If you had a favorite, please check back on it as many comments were left days or weeks later. And, if there is one that really spoke to you..it's never to late to comment. :)

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Julia

When my Uncle was in England, he came across this
& sent it to me.

(I don't know who wrote it. There was no name listed.)

I keep it posted on my refrigerator so that when I am feeling

overwhelmed by all of my "duties", I can focus on what's really important.

Thoughts of a Young Mum (or Dad!)

I hope my children look back on today

And see a mother who had time to play.

There will be years for cleaning and cooking --

But children grow tall when you're not looking.

So settle down, cobwebs, go to sleep.

I'm cuddling my children.

Children don't keep.

Kelli

When I grow up, I want to be a Stay at Home Mom…

During my 32+ years on earth, I have never heard a child express the desire to grow up to be a Stay at Home Mom. Yet, so many of us either choose, or let’s face it, stumble into that career, even if it a temporary one. Even though I always knew I wanted to stay home with my children when I eventually had them, when I discovered I was pregnant the first time, I was content working full-time as an administrative manager and didn’t see any reason why I couldn’t stop doing what I was doing, even if that meant cutting down my hours to part-time, I could totally do both!

Then, life happened.

I was forced to go on an early maternity leave, because there were “no part-time positions available”. Threw me for a loop, but I eventually accepted it and realized that even if I did work part-time, my paycheck would pretty much cover child-care and not much else. What’s the point of that? Why would I want someone else doing what I essentially felt was my job? Once my baby was born, I couldn’t imagine leaving her with anyone else. Life is funny, isn’t it?

I have nothing against Moms who choose to work. I have a lot of respect for you, because I can barely get everything done during the day (yeah yeah, so I don’t get everything done, ok?) I have no clue how working Moms juggle it all. And, I believe Moms who work outside of the home wonder how SAHMs manage everything. Recently, one of those working Moms asked “So, what exactly do you do all day?” I hate that question. So, to clear up what “exactly” goes on, I’m going to take you for a walk in my shoes for one day.

6:30a The hubs gets up with Sedona, my 2 yo, while I try to squeeze in a few more moments of sleep before showering, dressing, etc.
7:45a I get Natalie, my 5 yo up. Depending on her mood, this can take anywhere from 10-15 min to get her up & ready for the day.
8a Breakfast for the girls & the hubs, make coffee, make the hubs lunch, make my breakfast, take my meds, make the girls chocolate milk. The girls get to watch some of their shows during this hour too.
9a get Sedona dressed & ready for her doctor’s apt (test for strep, fun times!)
9:15a Brush the girls hair, get coats & shoes on, then into the car, pinch Sedona’s fingers in her seatbelt, take her out of her carseat to comfort her, put her back in (while she fights me, damn, 2 yr olds are strong), then I run back inside to get a Band-Aid, come back, she doesn’t want it, go back inside for water she’s now screaming for. Come back to the car, now Natalie wants water, go back in the house, realize I forgot the diaper bag too.
9:25a Finally hit the road, praying there isn’t traffic because the appt. is at 9:45 and it takes 20-25 min to get there (yes, we do travel across town for our pediatrician because he is that awesome).
9:50a Yup, late for the appt., but Dr. is running behind already, so it didn’t matter.
9:52a Break up a sister-fight over a puzzle
10a Called to the office, and Sedona actually doesn’t scream through her vitals.
10:05a Break up a sister fight over a Dora book. Read Dora book to both of them.
10:10a Dr. looks Sedona over while she clings to me like a koala, does a strep test while Sedona screams. bloody murder, then I ask the Dr. to do a test on Natalie too, since she was the “carrier”.
10:20a Girls get suckers and are happy & quiet again for a few blissful moments. I can actually take a few seconds to wipe the sweat off of my face and check in with the hubs to let him know what’s going on.
10:35a FINALLY get the results from the strep test – negative! Woo-hoo!
10:37a Stop at the bathroom… oh yeah, I’m including it all.
10:45a Get coats on. Load up the girls in the car and jet home.
11a Drop off script for diaper rash cream at Walgreens.
11:05a Make the girls’ lunch.
11:10a Serve the girls lunch.
11:12a Yell at the girls to eat their lunch.
11:13a Throw a load of laundry in the washer.
11:15a Yell at the girls to eat their lunch.
11:16a Check my email from my iPhone.
11:20a Tell the girls they need to finish their lunch so we can get ready to take Natalie to school.
11:25a Clean up from lunch.
11:30a Help the girls with their coats, shoes and make sure there’s a snack for Natalie in her bookbag.
11:35a Load the girls back into the car. Natalie forgot her bookbag. Back in the house for that. Start the car. Forgot my phone. Stop the car, run back into the house, grab my phone, back to the car.
11:40a Hit the road for school.
11:55a Drop Natalie off at school. Fight with Sedona about wanting to stay and play. She screams as I’m carrying her out to the car. Everyone stares.
12:10p Back at home, get Sedona a cup of milk ready so she can take a nap.
12:20p Put Sedona down for a nap.
12:21p Put the wet clothes into the dryer.
12:22p TAKE A MOMENT FOR ME!! Actually sit down at the computer for an hour to work on my blog.
1:45p Realize I forgot to eat lunch. I microwave some soup and eat.
2p Pick up the toys & the book avalanche I’ve ignored all day.
2:20p Wake Sedona up from her nap. Hate it when I have to wake her! Get her ready to pick up Natalie from school.
2:30p Load back into the car, head to school.
2:50p Pick up Natalie from school.
3p Stop at Biggby for a Chai Charger, and an oatmeal cookie for the girls.
3:15p Neighbor calls to see if I’d like to bring the girls over at 4p.
3:20p Back home, I need to get the laundry folded, so I let the girls watch a show. Otherwise, I’ll be folding the laundry 10 times.
3:50p Walk over to the neighbor’s for a playdate. Before Sedona was old enough to play, I could just bring Natalie over, and she would play with Lidia while I got some things done at home. Now, Sedona wants to play too. So, I stay and visit with my neighbor, which is nice.
4:15p Lidia screams at Sedona for making a mess in her messy room. Lidia & Sedona cry.
4:30p Natalie locks Sedona in Lidia’s room. Sedona screams & cries. I yell at Natalie, Natalie cries.
4:45p Happy moment: all 3 girls color together… at the table my neighbor & I were having adult conversation at… but… ya gotta take in these moments!
5p I tell the girls we need to get home soon so I can get dinner in the oven. The girls run & hide.
5:15p I tell the girls we need to head home.
5:30p Yes, that’s right, I’m finally able to get the girls their shoes & coats back on and we walk home.
5:40p The girls play in the backyard while I throw dinner: calzones I made for cooking club in the oven.
5:55p The hubs comes home! YAY! Relief… sort of.
6p I work on Natalie’s registration forms for Kindergarten.
6:15p Pull my hair out in frustration as I realize I’m only halfway through the registration forms.
6:30p Dinner is ready. Fight with the girls to eat it, but they eventually do. Bonus for Momma!
6:40p I finally finish the registration forms and I can eat.
7p Half-assed dinner clean-up as the girls do their nightly crazy-running-around the house screaming & laughing.
7:15p I attempt to put the laundry away, but I’m interrupted with random Natalie questions.
7:30p I have to get myself ready for Cooking Club (I make 8 batches of meals that are frozen for 7 families, keep one, and we all trade. Voila! 8 unique meals that are ready to heat & eat.)
7:45p I load up all my meals, hit the road.
7:50p The hubs texts me to tell me I forgot the sauce. I turn around, grab the sauce, hit the road again.
8:10p I arrive at cooking club. Late… again! Enjoy a few moments of adult conversation… smile as I realize that “daddy” has to take care of bedtime alone this evening.
9p Head home.
9:15p Consider working out.
9:16p Reconsider working out.
9:17p Empty the dishwasher.
9:30p Clean up the toys & the book avalanche that somehow reappeared.
9:45p Veg out in front of the TV with the hubs, who I haven’t seen much of all day.
10:15p Yell at the hubs to stop snoring.
10:20p Yell at the hubs to stop snoring.
10:22p Yell at the hubs to stop snoring and tell him to go to bed.
10:30p I hit the sack, thank God for giving me the wonderful people in my life & the strength to get me through the day, and pray for strength for the next day.
10:32p Check my email from my phone, then Facebook & Twitter, then put it all away and try to sleep. Mind wanders with my to-do list for tomorrow.
11:30p Finally fall asleep.

Yes, this is a fairly typical day in my world. I tried to include as many details as my fried brain could gather, but honestly there were a lot of little things here & there that I didn’t. There’s always something to do. Usually fights to break up, manners to teach, accidents to clean, and tears & butts to wipe every single day. I’m always exhausted.

Why in the world would anyone want to live like this?

The thing is, I get so many random moments of joy throughout the day, and I try to focus on those blissful moments. Seeing the girls sitting in one chair together at the doctor’s office, enjoying their suckers; hearing big huge belly laughs as they chase each other around the house, and when they raced back home after playing with Lidia. These are the simple moments I cherish, and I know many Moms who work outside of the home may miss out on some of them. I try to take in these moments, and if they get in the way of me doing the random chores that constantly pile up, so be it. The chores will be there tomorrow. The kids will not be this age forever. One day, in the not-so-distant future, they won’t want to be around me at all. *tear*

I don’t know if my girls will ever truly understand & appreciate every big & little thing I do for them daily, and honestly, I don’t expect them to. To them, this is just life. Momma is home, Daddy goes to work. I have my share of meltdowns and days where I wish I could call in sick, or ya know, get paid for what I do. Instead, I learn what spoon is their favorite to eat with. I’m the first to understand what they are saying, even when they cry. I get to do silly things, like set up Natalie’s bear Sam in fun situations while she’s at school and when she comes home, I get to see how EXCITED she is when she thinks he’s written his name on her art table all by himself. Instead of $$ I’m paid with slobbery kisses, koala-bear hugs, laughter & I love yous. Just hope they turn out to be outstanding citizens of the world, because if they don’t, the blame probably won’t be placed on Daddy.

Amanda

I didn’t realize when I was pregnant with Keith nearly 3 years ago that not only was I soon going to have a son, but I also was getting a best friend.

My husband works nearly 80 hours a week as a resident at Johns Hopkins. This is his 3rd of 6 years of residency. This means it’s just me and my little buddy several days a week. His first year of residency was when I became pregnant with Keith and I have to admit, it was a lonely time.

February 2008 came and my best friend Keith Elliott Follmar II was born. It has been a precious journey over the last two years, watching him grow and become a little boy. It brings tears to my eyes to think about how much he has changed and what a great little person he has become.

We do everything together, from going to doctor appointments together to shopping for a new dress (for me) or going to visit family across the country. He was even with me when we heard his sibling’s heartbeat for the first time a month ago. We always do it together. Most of time, he is my biggest cheerleader and fan, which I love and often take for granted. I will put on the most random everyday clothes and he will say “cute shirt mama.”. He knows exactly how to bring a smile to my face. No matter how wonderful or hard our day has been, I always have someone to cuddle and hug at the end. I can tell him anything and know he’ll just listen and say something cute.

I know as he gets older, the non-judgmental loving personality will probably change a bit. I’m going to hold on to this loving adorable perfect boy as long as I can because he is my best friend!

Mary

 Snap Judgments:

I was making a 4 hour drive between VA & PA. A big brunch was waiting for us at my sister's house when we arrived. Of course when leaving for a road trip, mom never has time for a shower after getting everyone and everything ready to go. Halfway through the trip, we stopped at McDonald's to stretch legs, have a potty break and get a snack. Leaving the winter coats in the car because the thought of bundling and unbundling a 7 & 3 year old was too daunting, we dashed into the restaurant.
I ordered a McDonald's big breakfast. Eggs, Biscuit, piece of sausage, and a pancake. I cut everything into small pieces and we were sharing the plate. As we ate, I noticed an elderly gentlemen watching us.

Yes, I agreed to myself, my kids are exceptionally cute.

He approached us slowly saying "I couldn't help but notice....". I mentally filled in - how well behaved your children are, what good table manners they have, how darling they seem when I heard "....that you are sharing one plate. Do you need money for food?"

It's really a very nice story but HOW BAD DO YOU HAVE TO LOOK TO HAVE SOMEONE OFFER YOU MONEY FOR FOOD???

I stammered no thank you trying to explain it was a "BIG BREAKFAST", that we were ok, I was indeed saving money for their college eduction, we did have coats in the car, I wasn't homeless.... it was mortifying!!!!

On a somewhat related note, I've been thinking a lot about the pressure (real and imagined) Moms are under. We've all had the child throwing the temper tantrum in Wal-Mart, and we've all judged another Mom for her lack of parenting skills when we've seen her child throwing a tantrum in the same store. Stay at home mom vs. outside the home mom, home school vs. public school vs. private school, organic diet vs. prepared food, TV vs. No-TV. I think we should all look at each other and say You are a Mom and are doing the best you can. Go Mom Go!

And always be there to remind each other to shower and get out of the grubby kid stained T-shirt before a road trip!!

Rebekah

Here are the great moments...

When you've lost hope that people are decent- someone comes along and changes that. Not only does he show you that people can still love no matter what they've been through, he comes with these 2 amazing bundles of personality that flipped my world upside down.

As I sit and wait for my plane to board to leave for the work that has always meant so much to me- more than any love I could have for anything or anyone else, I cry.

I cry because I know I'm not only leaving behind a great man for a week but also the twinkies that make everyday worth it.

When my iPod is shuffling MY favorite songs, somehow HER favorite songs wind up there and make me miss her even more than when I left her crying at the security checkpoint.

Then there's the boy who is so damn cute, with eyelashes that make women jealous. The boy who has proposed marriage several times, calls me his wife and repeatedly asks how old I'll be when he is 18. Lol. Too funny.

I love the whole family. My Hostess family. 2 Twinkies and Daddy the Ding-Dong.

Catherine

Sage was my first child. Every milestone was amazing, every smile a celebration, every diaper a joy to change (well, maybe not every diaper!). As she grew we celebrated more achievements each and every day. I don’t remember quite when, but in the midst of all the celebrating I began to notice that Sage’s milestones were coming slower than those of other kids around us – I noticed that even though we were celebrating milestones, we were celebrating them behind others and I became concerned. Everyone around us keep telling me not to worry, “kids do things at their own pace”, “she’ll catch up”, “you worry too much” and I figured they were right, but in the back of my mind I worried that something wasn’t right. As it turned out all my well meaning, reassuring friends and family (and even doctors) were wrong and I was right. At over 2 ½ years old, we learned that Sage was developmentally disabled. Overnight I went from a stay at home mom of two (Jack had arrived when Sage was 19 months old) to the mom of “a disabled child”. I spent the next 6-9 months in a daze wondering what I/we did wrong, what would her diagnosis be, what would her future look like. I found myself pulling away from friends with “typical” kids and pulling into myself, hiding in fear of how others would view her, Jack, us, our family…..I wasted a lot of time feeling sorry for myself.

Time marched on as it always does though and I began to lift from my haze realizing that Sage was making loads of progress right before my eyes. I began to look at her in a different way. I stopped looking at Sage as “unable” and started looking at her as Sage – a little girl with tremendous potential hiding under the surface. I started to embrace her abilities and challenge her disabilities. I became the proud parent of a “special needs” child, a champion for the under-dog, a teacher of acceptance. I replaced my former feelings of loss and hopelessness with feelings of purpose and thoughts of the future. Am I embarrassed to admit that at one time I was disappointed? Yes- for sure, but now rather than feeling sorry for myself for being the mother of a disabled child I feel blessed to be – chosen to be. Not everyone gets the chance to raise a child like Sage and her tremendously patient brother Jack – I am glad that we get that chance because I don’t think we’ll ever take for granted our role as parents and the amazing things our children will accomplish.

As I write this Sage is now 7 years old and I am preparing for her stage debut in the school production of “Greased” tomorrow night (the picture is from her dress rehearsal). Four years ago I would have NEVER imagined Sage could say a joke in front of a couple hundred people she doesn’t know and do a little dance to Rock Around the Clock and Don’t Know Much About History – I look forward to seeing what she is doing another 4 years from now!!!

Judi

Well Meaning Ignorant People

When I was pregnant with my twins (now nearly 9), I was stunned at the stupid things people felt they had the right to say to me.  Twins?  Oh, you’re going through IVF?  Low sperm count?  Did you wait too long to start trying?  And that was just the beginning!

My husband is far more laid back than I.  Nothing riles him – except the stupid things people said to us.  After a while, he grew weary of hearing “Oh, IVF?”  - like our reproductive life is anyone’s business!  So one day someone asked it and he answered, “No, missionary.”  That ended the questions.  Awesome.
 

People felt the need to tell us horror stories.  “You know, my cousin’s next door neighbor’s daughter was pregnant with twins.  One died….hope that doesn’t happen to you.”  Nice.  “You know twins will have language delays  or (fill in the medical horror story blank).”  We got used to it but it was always unnerving.

One day when my girls were just a few months old, I was walking down the boardwalk in Ocean City, NJ, and a man saw me walking by.  He yelled out “There’s double trouble!”  I shot back my normal retort: “No, they’re a double blessing!”  He started to argue with me, explaining that he had daughters, he knew of what he spoke.  My husband had to steer me away from him before I punched him in my hormonal rage.  On the same trip, while holding one of my girls, a woman approached me to tell me I was permanently damaging my child by using pacifiers.  She was a chiropractor, she explained, so she knew this to be true.  Seriously?  This is what motherhood was going to be like?

That continued for several years.  People felt they had the right to touch my children and offer me advice that I clearly didn’t want.  Until recently, we would be asked things (in front of my kids!) like “Who’s the good one?”  They didn’t seem to understand that if you label one good, the other becomes the bad one.  “Who’s the smart one?”  They’re both smart, thank you very much. 

People were also curious about my delivery.  I had one non-medical person in the delivery room with me: my husband.  Why on earth do people care about my vagina?  “Wow, you probably had a lot of tearing….lots of stitches?”  I don’t know you.  You have no right to ask questions like that.  One day I did ask some random person who bombarded me with questions on a particularly bad day if she asked others about their vaginas?  No?  Then don’t ask me.

There were two locations that were full of crazies.  Walmart, not unexpectedly, harbored quite a few. “I knew a twin once.  Can I touch yours?” No, you can’t.  “My mom has a neighbor with a daughter who married a guy with twins in Kansas.  Do you know them?”  No, I don’t.  Then there was the Superfresh grocery store in Silver Spring, at the time one of the few stores that had all their aisles handicap accessible (big enough for the double stroller).  Without fail, every single time I was in there, a man (different every time) would ask me to demonstrate how I breastfed them simultaneously.  I stopped shopping there.

My kids grew tired of the questions, too.  One day at our local mall, a woman started to approach us.  One of my girls turned to look at her and spout out “We’re 7.  Fraternal.  Yes, we know we look alike but trust us, we’re not.   We’re both good.”  I stood there, dumbfounded, but also kind of proud.  What a shame that my kids have learned that people are so intrusive.

We chose not to have more children for a variety of reasons, one of which was what happened when we went out with our friends who have multiples AND singleton children.  Those singletons didn’t even exist to the strangers who felt the need to ask a million questions about the twins.  Another mother told me the story of someone asking all about her twin sons – when is their birthday?  How much did they weigh?  Their beautiful non-twin daughter volunteered “My birthday is in May!  I weighed almost 9 pounds!” The stranger paid her no mind…and she never forgot that.

There are nice stories as well:  countless people who helped me when my hands were full, people who are very kind to my children and the very few who helped in public places during potty training.  I remember those far more fondly than those who felt the need to invade my private life with their inappropriate questions.  When asked by soon-to-be-parents of multiples what to expect, I usually tell them to prepare for the onslaught of weird questions.  

I know parents of singletons get their bellies felt and commented on as well.  Maybe it was my crazy pre- and post-natal hormones but I was stunned that people felt they had the right to ask such questions.  The good news is now as my children get older, the questions lessen a bit.  Now it’s “Are they twins?  I thought so but wasn’t sure….”  I like that much better!

Sarah

If Someone had asked me 5 years ago what kind of mom would you be, I probably wouldn’t have had an answer. Today, I want to be the kind of mom that when my kids look back they remember the random happy moments we shared together. I don’t have to be the cool mom, I just want them to know I was always there for them.

It has been an interesting 5 years. These kids make me laugh and cry and want to pull my hair out. Sometimes all at the same time! Though one of the best moments was when Sabrina got herself and Ava into their carseats and buckled as I was trying to get John in his infant carseat, grab the diaper bag and head out the door. She was so proud of herself!

I love dress up!!! I am so lucky that the girls love to dress up too, especially Ava. Last week we had to take Stryder to the vet, Ava was in her princess dress, ballet shoes butterfly wings and jewelry. I put a pull-up on her since we are still in the process of potty training. What a mess, the vet was behind with an emergency, the kids were antsy, Stryder was shaking like a leaf and trying to escape (all 110lbs of him) finally the vet tech sent us to McD’s while they examined Stryder.  Now I have kids running all over Playland. The vet calls my cell just as Sabrina tells me she need to go potty, as I take her to the most unhygenic potty I have ever seen I ask, can you hold it sweetie?...Uh yeah mom! Now the vet is trying to find out from me if my dog has a possible STD, while Ava comes up to tell me she is poopie, what was in her pullup can not be described just as poopie. There is poopie creeping out all edges of the pullup. I tell the vet that I would be right in, and there was no way that my sweet Stryder had any kind of STD. Now that I finally have Ava out of the dress and pull-up, all I have left for her to wear are a pullup, wings and a smile. Hey she’s 3, she can pull it off. Stryder is now being tested for all tick born diseases, I believe the problem turned out to be allergies. I had a double mocha after that, even though it was 6:30pm.  

Sabrina has me convinced that she is trying to change her little brother into a little sister. Apparently Ava isn’t enough. As I listened through the intercom as Sabrina “played” with John. When I went into her room I saw that she had him dressed up in jewelry and was trying to get him into a dress. Luckily Ava wasn’t nearby, or they may have succeeded. Poor John, he will grow up knowing the sound track to “Mamma Mia” as it’s the girls favorite!

I admit with 3 kids ages of 4 1/2, 3 and 1, it ain’t easy! As Sabrina told me the other day as she was rock climbing up a wall with me spotting her from behind, while I was trying to keep on eye on John who was tackling or being tackled by Ava “Mom, we are going to be just fine.”, as usual she is right, but I still want to have our Sunday morning snuggles in bed when it seems like time stands still. But now I must run, Ava is running around in her Diego panties (on backwards) looking for her princess dress and tiara. Sabrina needs help with finding something and hopefully John will sleep a little longer! But that’s before I have to start getting everyone ready for gymnastics.

Karen

When I was 20 years old, I got pregnant. I wasn’t married, and I was really scared. I didn’t live at home anymore, but I knew that I would have to tell my Mom and Dad what was about to happen. I kept quiet about it for a long time, but when I finally came to terms with the fact that I was going to have a baby, I knew I had to tell my Mom first. Mom would understand…she’s a Mom, and she’s a woman. It’s funny, because she was most upset because she was “too young” to be a grandma. That was funny to me, because she was too young to have ever gotten married when she did, at age 16, so unless I waited until I was 40 to have a baby, she was always going to be “too young” to be a grandma. The next challenge was to tell my Dad. I was his first born child, and he and I were always close. I went fishing with Dad, I went to his softball games. He would dance with me standing on his feet on Saturday night before he and Mom went out for the evening. How was I going to tell him that I was pregnant?

Well, I guess Mom did that for me. I remember them showing up at my place of work at the end of the day, sitting in the car in the parking lot, waiting for me. I didn’t know what was going to happen. I was so afraid that Dad would disown me – that was a word that was used back then. Of course, he never owned me to begin with, and we know better in 2010, don’t we? I was so sad that I was disappointing him. That’s what he said…he was disappointed in me. It broke my heart!

But, we moved forward and made plans to begin our lives with a new baby. Not long before I was due to deliver, there was a special card from Dad and I remember what the message was. He said we all make mistake in our lives and that we should learn from them. He wanted me to know that he loved me and that he loved the new child that I was carrying. He wanted me to know that we are all family, and we take care of one another.

And he did. My son was the first grandchild in Mom and Dad’s family and everybody loved him. I got married a few years later and went on to have another child and that son is every bit as special as the first one. I love the way they have grown up and become two extraordinary men, each one different in their life-styles, but both loving and caring individuals. And they both love their mother…they even tell me that!

I’ve been fortunate to have many children touch my life, wonderful step-children, nieces and nephews, cousins and now grandchildren. I’m one of those people who cry at babies…like people who cry at weddings, I cry at babies. We have a grandson who is 10 years old, and when we recently learned that we have another grandson in our family…my heart filled with joy! I’m looking forward to spending time with him and his Momma and Daddy, and to making up for years lost.

Dad was right, we make mistakes, but we learn from them, and we move on. We know that family is the most important thing in our lives and we need to keep those bonds strong…forever.

Allison

Hi Everyone!  I'm Allison from House of Hepworths!

Alissa has asked me to share a story about being a mom...

Before I muse on about motherhood, let me introduce myself first.  I am the creative genius :D behind House of Hepworths.  I love crafting, especially if I can do it for super cheap!  I like to buy stuff at thrift stores and transform it into amazing creations.  Here are a few of the things I've made recently:

        

        

If you like what you see, come over to House of Hepworths and poke around a bit!  I don't bite.  Much.

*************

Now for the fun part!  My rendition of motherhood.

Apparently some find me funny, hilarious I dare say, which is why I was asked to write on Alissa's blog.  No pressure or anything!  While I do try to be funny on my blog, they are one-liners here and there mixed with mostly pictures.  Writing an entire paragraph about motherhood that is also entertaining... Well, not sure how well this will turn out.  Bear with me.  I am not a writer by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact, I never even finished college, so I guess I'm not really an expert on anything at all, except I guess Motherhood.  (Full circle moment there.)

How has my perspective on Motherhood changed?  This question is laughable.  Simply laughable.  Just reading it sends me into a fit of giggles.  A long long time ago - like 9 years ago - I thought I knew how to be a mom.  The best saying I ever heard about motherhood is "The best mothers are the ones who don't have any children."  Oh how true that is!  I knew how to be a mom before I had kids.  And I was vocal about it.  I looked down on my friends with kids because I thought all of them were such crappy parents!  I mean, who lets their kids stay up past 7:00pm?  They must be the worst parents in the world!  Sugary treats before they are a year old?  Gasp.  What parent in their right mind would actually put on a Baby Einstein video for a baby?  A BABY!!  Why do babies even need to watch TV anyway?  What kind of mother would choose formula over breastfeeding?  They must be so selfish!  I can't believe any mother would let her kid out of the house in that outfit!  It doesn't even match!!  Does she realize her kid has food all over his face?  Why on earth does that kid not have any shoes on?  I mean, they are already 9 months old for crying out loud!  Just a diaper?  In public?  Are they CRAZY?!?!

Oh I just look back and laugh at myself.  And cringe.  I feel like I need to enter a 12-step program just so I can go around and apologize to all those poor mothers I judged for their crappy parenting.  It's just like they say about becoming your own mother... When I had kids I became the mother I judged and swore I'd never be.  (Not my mom, but all lazy careless moms who don't keep their kids clothes perfectly pressed).  Rarely do my kids get to bed on time.  These days, I'm happy if I can get my 5 year old out the door in a timely manner fully dressed.  I have to pick my battles.  And I've learned that the hard way.  I use to imagine that being a mom was fairytales and roses.  When I speak, the kids listen the first time and obey.  They always have clean clothes on and they love to eat vegetables.  They never talk back.  They walk gracefully on the balls of their feet.  I'm just happy if I can get my daughter to walk at all!  At almost six she still melts to butter at a moments notice and insists I carry her everywhere.  My 8 year old son would rather sort his pokemon cards than do anything I ask him to do, and he thinks that a burnt orange UT shirt and red basketball shorts actually match.  I'm lucky if I can get them both in the same place at the same time.  They are complete opposites, including the direction they like to run.  Most days I feel like I'm trying to wrangle two wild monkeys into a cage.  At the end of the day, I'm lucky if they match and don't have food on their shirt.  No, I take that back.  I'm lucky if they are injury free and didn't have to go to the ER!  I'm lucky if I can manage both into the shower a few times a week.  If they make it to school on time (and with clean teeth) I consider it a successful day!  Before I had kids I pictured my future life as something right out of Annie or a Shirley Temple movie.  These days I feel like I'm living in a three-ring circus. 

If you are kid-less, cut us moms some slack.  When you see a mom struggling two kids and a baby in a stroller, don't snicker.  Hold the door open for her.  When you see kids in mismatched clothes, don't laugh - be happy they are at least wearing any.  Before I had kids I had huge dreams and ambitions for each of them.  I still have high hopes, but the only reoccurring dream I have is that they and I all make it to their adulthood alive.  Lord help us all if they ever figure out that I have no clue what I'm doing and that they really run the show!  As long as they think I'm in control I'm doing okay, but the day they realize that I am just winging it and living on a prayer, I'm done for.  And for my son who's sharp as a tack, I think my days are numbered.

Laura

I have three grown daughters, ages 24, 22 and 20. When my eldest girl went away to college, she never really came back, and while I live near Annapolis, she now lives in the middle of PA, 3 1/2 hours away.  In the spring after her first year away, she returned home and cleared out her room, packing the things she wanted to keep with her in her new apartment. She loaded her car and told me that whatever was left in her room was mine to keep or trash. Soon after she left, I went into the room and began sorting through her things. The overwhelming emotion that rocked me was more powerful than just about anything that I had experienced up to that moment. I got lost in her yearbooks, her ribbons from pony club, her journals from when she was very young, and it wasn't long before I was clutching things and sobbing. The memory of holding her as an infant, of rocking her and singing to her and just nestling her into the crook of my neck and feeling her breath there...it was powerful and it brought me to my knees. I just wanted one more time, please, to hold her like that. I considered all the wasted times when I just flung her about on my hip and wanted respite, to have someone else take her so I could get stuff done. I would have traded a digit to get one moment back to hold her, my baby.

So I know people tell you to treasure the time when they are very young, and about how these are the best years, and you think to yourself, "really, but I'm so exhausted. Is this really as good as it gets?" and I can tell you, there will come a day when you will miss 3am feedings and you'll be willing to trade body parts for a snuggle.

Enjoy.

Ruthanne

 February 12

Saying that we appreciate your prayers last night and today is a lame understatement. I believe your prayers held us together...made us hear the strange noises Carter was making, helped me keep my sanity and know what to do when Scott screamed "He's turning blue!" Your prayers were critical while an ambulance and ?? how many other emergency vehicles pulled up here, and four emergency medical personnel tromped through our house at midnight with their equipment and helped us tend to Carter on his bedroom floor...right next door to Lincoln - who slept through the whole thing.

They immediately checked his heart rate and oxygen levels. Heart rate was good, O2 was low. They gave him oxygen and he slowly started regaining consciousness. After establishing that he had a fever, they suspected a febrile seizure, but recommended we take him by ambulance (in case it were to happen again on the way) to the hospital to have him checked out.

At the ER, they did a flu test and a chest x-ray - both came back normal. The doctor also ordered some blood tests, and they decided to put an IV port in since they had to stick him anyway. THAT was hard. This was at 3 am after a seizure. The child was tired and cranky to say the least! But when they busted out the popsicles, he perked up. :)

Doctor said everything looked normal and he just had some stupid virus that caused the fever. The fever caused the seizure. And while the seizure served to scare the ____ out of Scott and me, it was basically harmless. Time to take that IV port out of his hand and go home and go back to bed.

Falling asleep after putting him in his bed was challenging. I begged God for a picture to think of when I closed my eyes...something to replace the images of the evening that kept playing over and over in my head. He reminded me of Isaiah 40:11 "Like a Shepherd He will tend His flock, IN HIS ARMS HE WILL GATHER THE LAMBS, AND CARRY THEM IN HIS BOSOM..." (thanks, Kristen Mitchell!!) As I lay there, adrenaline still running through my veins, I felt like someone needed to be watching him. Someone needed to stay awake and watch him sleep to make sure he didn't seize again. I was exhausted, and cried and cursed myself for needing sleep when my baby needed me to protect him...

Again the Lord was faithful to bring scripture to mind. "I will lie down and sleep in peace. Lord, You alone keep [my children] safe." Psalm 4:8. As if I thought that staying awake and WATCHING him would do anything to protect him. Do I really think that it's ME who keeps him safe throughout the day when I'm with him all day? My wisdom? My thorough care for him? My thoughtful consideration of his specific needs? Baloney. That is false security. The truth is, I have been given these precious boys only so that I can turn around and give them right back to Him. HE is the only one who can effectively protect them - body and soul.

I did well today - watching him up, playing, was reassuring that their diagnosis was sound. This was not an epileptic child - not even a very sick one. He was fine and last night was probably an isolated incident. But putting him to bed was a different story. I found myself having him sit on the potty for longer than was really necessary...straightening his room...rocking, rocking, rocking...I realized I was stalling. When I finally sat down and prayed with him in the dark, I wept. God didn't expect me to put him down in the very bed he had a seizure in and walk out of the room, did He?! Doesn't someone need to stay up all night and watch him? Maybe Scott and I could take shifts...

"...He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." Psalm 121:3-4

I can sleep because He doesn't. Thank You, Lord!

Please pray that last night's seizure is the last Carter will ever experience. Please also pray that I will be able to rest tonight and from now on, assured of God's love for my child, for His unwavering watch over him. Pray that I will be able to keep that picture in my head: of my Lord carrying my children in His arms...close to His heart.

Thanks so much to all of you! We love you and appreciate your prayers and concern for us!

Kathy

On Being Maddy’s Mom

I am the mother of one almost two year old little girl who never ceases to amaze me every day. My husband and I went through many difficult years of trying to have children and Maddy is truly a miracle.

For people who have read “The Happiest Toddler on the Block”, she is one of those children who are defined as “spirited”. She is a very willful, independent, and an intelligent little girl who if allowed would happily run away from her mommy to go and experience the big, wide world. And to make matters worse, she is FAST! Not something I am ready to allow at this point, maybe in 30 years. She is a ham that loves to dance and just recently sing. In fact the first song she sang along to was a Grateful Dead song on the way to Sam’s Club – is there some type of irony here that I am missing? She LOVES her biggest cousin, Corey, and consistently calls the angel in “The Littlest Angel” Corey. When I informed Corey of this he was not very appreciative and continued to inform Maddy that the angel was in fact not him.

And while she has been going the sometimes difficult moments of the “terrible twos” lately, I always remind myself that I have her teenage years to look forward to. 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!

Joi

10 Things People Don’t Tell You about Babies and Toddlers:

1.       Babies do not own calendars. Due dates are just estimates and are not always accurate. No matter how much you plan and decide the baby has the final decision.

2.       There ARE stupid questions to ask doctors and nurses. I was a hefty baby when I was born weighing well over 9lbs. Because of all the “he’s gonna be huge” talk I was expecting a miniature Shaq. When I had this little 5 lb. baby placed in my arms my only reaction was to look at the nurse and ask seriously – “Is he a little person?”. Maybe I watched too much of TLC’s "Little People Big World" but it was still a serious question.

3.       The cat will care less about the new bundle of joy.  All the concern and prep for how the family pet will interact with the new baby went out the door when our cat, Minnie, sniffed him, heard him cry and ran away. She has ignored him ever since.

4.       Grandparents work against the parents.  No matter my rules that I would like for my son to follow such as no fish, juice or water only during the day, sticking to a nap schedule, etc. grandparents will do their own thing. I have a mostly Disney only rule in our house yet, once at the Grandparents SpongeBob is on and he’s eating salmon. 

5.       Baby’s poop is all colors and it’s normal.  Enough said.

6.       After having a child you will never sleep again. Even with a 20 month old, I have yet to have a great night’s sleep. I’m still trying to figure out who came up with the phrase “slept like a baby” since my son still wakes up in the middle of the night several times a week . 

7.       Toddlers do hit and yes that is your child that is hitting. I’ll never forget the day I pulled up to my son’s Day Care to pick him up and saw him bopping another little boy upside of the head. I was appalled yet knew I would be livid if it was my son who was getting bopped. We are working on the “No Hitting” rule, yet even at the playground he still runs up to random toddlers and tries to hit making me want to fall through a hole in the earth.

8.       As much as the toddler does that cute little dance, they will never do it when you want to show other people.  This is because they know you want them to do something and they want to make you look like a fool. Mission accomplished.

9.       When they are quiet, be concerned, very concerned. Anytime my son is in a separate room and quiet I have learned to run to that room. He is either playing with something he knows he shouldn’t be playing with, into something he knows he shouldn’t be into or eating toilet paper.

10.   When deciding on a name for a child test the name with   “(Name) STOP! “, STOP (Name)!”  387 times in 10 minutes. If the name doesn’t get on your nerves when saying it the 204^th time then that’s probably the name you want.

Through all the sleepless nights, poopy diapers, and hours watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse I wouldn’t change it for the world.  While I didn’t know about these 10 things, I had a great teacher to test my patience, challenge me to be better, and to love me unconditionally.  Thank you Eric for the 10 lessons so far and looking forward to many more lessons to come.

Allison

So...I think I can take care of a houseplant now...

Before kids I was the kind of person that would have a pile of laundry that my kids could get lost in, and I never could have a houseplant because they would always die. Not that I am terribly organized now, but...having kids has helped me to be more efficient. I know full well that if I don't keep on top of things it will get out of control fast! I would much rather spend time doing a million other things besides laundry and cleaning like everyone else especially things with my kids, so my goal is to do a little everyday so I can have time with my kids and all of those things that come up. I guess it seems so simple and obvious, but to me it is huge progress!

A more important change that is somewhat related to being efficient is that I am more nurturing. I have always been around kids, with literally 40 cousins, half of which are younger, I had tons of experience. I also decided to pursue a career as an elementary teacher which was great. I thought I was so in tune with kids and nurturing, but I was only half way there. As we parents all know, it is when you can rub the head of a child who is puking, sleep with small forceful feet kicking you all night, nod off with a sick or sleepless child all night, tolerate tantrums, in addition to all of the other not so appealing things we do, that we really know what it means to be nurturing. It is ironic that the more we sacrifice the more we gain because the energy and time we give to our kids now is coming back to us and will continue to in the form of sticky kisses, hugs, special drawings, kind words, and the list goes on and on!

I think about how being a mother has made me a better person everyday. As I was growing up babysitting or teaching, I thought that it would be so easy to be a mom, ha. It isn't easy, God has amazingly humbled me! I wouldn't trade the job or the trials and tears that have brought me to this point. Mother's Day to me is a celebration of that change and I think this Mother's Day I can go ahead and buy myself a house plant.

Rosann

Enjoy each day with your child. That time goes way too fast. We only have them for such a short time and then they are out on their own.

Remember to keep the baby book up to date. The older they get the more they will appreciate that book.

Write dates and peoples names on the back of pictures - we think we will remember - but we don"t. (yes I know they will probably all be on a disk)

Love them a lot and have patience - some days it takes a lot.

They will bring more joy (and some sadness) than you every imagined, to your entire life.

We all, as parents, do the very best we can at the time - sometimes we look back and wished we would have done some things different - but remember we are not perfect.

Jennifer

Throughout my childhood, my mom read to me and my brother before bed. One of my favorite books was Charlotte’s Web – you know, the one about the pig and the spider? Anyway, as a kid growing up in suburban Phoenix, I decided that the farm life described in the book sounded ideal. It was clear that it was too late for me to be a farmer’s kid, so I announced to Mom,

“I want to be a farmer’s wife.”

She looked at me for a moment and replied,

“Why don’t you be a farmer?”

At that moment, I began to realize I didn’t have to step into the roles in my books, I didn’t have to live my life like the adults around me (including my mom), and I could make my own path. It was the beginning of my liberation.

I’ve told this story to a few people. The women who hear it usually respond with something along the lines of, “Go, Mom!” The men say something like, “You’d hate being a farmer.” or, “You’d be a lousy farmer.” which, of course, isn’t the point. *Sigh.*

My husband helped to clarify: the men who respond that way always knew they could be a farmer. They wonder why I didn’t always know I could be a farmer. They want to point out that being a farmer isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Now that I have a daughter of my own, I’m doing everything I can to let her know she can be a farmer, or anything else she wants to be. Although being a spider would be a little trickier.

Vanessa

When I was a little girl, I had an imaginary husband (named John) and we had 5 imaginary kids. I have no idea why I had so many imaginary children, but hey, I was a 4-year-old! However, somewhere between my early youth and adulthood I changed my tune. If you had asked me 5 years ago whether I wanted kids, the answer would have been a resounding, "Not now! Maybe not ever, so don't bug me!"

I don't know what made me decide it was time... Perhaps it was my biological clock, or my aging parents and in-laws, or Lord knows what else! Now, here I am, 27 weeks pregnant (as of April 24th), and I'm still a little freaked out about becoming "Mommy" in a few short months. I love kids, don't get me wrong, but I don't consider myself the maternal type. And unlike most of my friends, the thought of myself in the role of Mom never factored into my dreams of the future.

I partially blame this ambivalence toward parenthood on the fact that I am an only-child. I never really HAD to grow up! Then, consider the fact that my husband is also (technically) an only-child. We're lucky we decided to get pregnant at all! Having a kid means that we can't just take care of ourselves alone. We must now switch our focus to our new little family member, and curb some of our selfish Peter-Pan tendencies. No easy task for someone who at-heart still feels like she's 15!

So, I'd like to think that there's at least some room for me to be a good parent and still be a big kid. Please tell me there is, because obviously there's no turning back now. :)

Jamie

My husband and I found out I was pregnant at a very interesting point in my life. Although we were somewhat trying to conceive, I was in the middle of questioning my marriage. I love my husband with all my heart but at that point I was questioning if I was in love with him, any longer. When we found out we were going to have a baby, it seemed to bring everything into perspective. I knew I loved my husband, I knew I didn't want to imagine life without him, but for some reason, I was questioning it! Our daughter saved us, saved me, making me realize what I was doing. My husband was such a trooper during my pregnancy. I had a pretty easy time, no complaints really. I loved being pregnant and have to admit I was a little sad when I wasn't any longer. The attention wasn't on me any more, it was on my beautiful daughter!

Grace Addison came into this world on Monday, July 14, 2008. My labor wasn't bad at all and we were just so excited to meet our little one. She was perfect, 10 fingers and 10 toes and a full head of hair. The feeling you get from having a child, is like no other. The instant love you have, you are willing to give your own life for this human being you have only just met. I knew I wanted to be a mom and as soon as I became one, I knew I was going to love it.

Unfortunately, after three months of having off with my baby girl, I had to go back to work. This was not something I was very excited about. My life long dream has always been to be a stay at home mom. It just couldn't happen. I think I cried every day for like two weeks. I still cry some times when I leave her. It's not that I don't like my job or like who watches my child, I just don't want to miss a second of her. I want to be there for her every move, her ever progression!

My daughter is now 21 months old. I have had the time of my life raising her. She amazes me everyday. It is so wonderful to watch her work to figure things out for herself. She wants to be so independent now and do things her way. She makes us laugh all the time and every time I hear her giggle and laugh, my heart melts a little more.

My husband and I are doing better than ever and I have my daughter to thank for keeping us on our toes and in each others arms! We are so blessed to have this gift from God. Gracie is a amazing little girl and I love being her mother.