Kelli

When I grow up, I want to be a Stay at Home Mom…

During my 32+ years on earth, I have never heard a child express the desire to grow up to be a Stay at Home Mom. Yet, so many of us either choose, or let’s face it, stumble into that career, even if it a temporary one. Even though I always knew I wanted to stay home with my children when I eventually had them, when I discovered I was pregnant the first time, I was content working full-time as an administrative manager and didn’t see any reason why I couldn’t stop doing what I was doing, even if that meant cutting down my hours to part-time, I could totally do both!

Then, life happened.

I was forced to go on an early maternity leave, because there were “no part-time positions available”. Threw me for a loop, but I eventually accepted it and realized that even if I did work part-time, my paycheck would pretty much cover child-care and not much else. What’s the point of that? Why would I want someone else doing what I essentially felt was my job? Once my baby was born, I couldn’t imagine leaving her with anyone else. Life is funny, isn’t it?

I have nothing against Moms who choose to work. I have a lot of respect for you, because I can barely get everything done during the day (yeah yeah, so I don’t get everything done, ok?) I have no clue how working Moms juggle it all. And, I believe Moms who work outside of the home wonder how SAHMs manage everything. Recently, one of those working Moms asked “So, what exactly do you do all day?” I hate that question. So, to clear up what “exactly” goes on, I’m going to take you for a walk in my shoes for one day.

6:30a The hubs gets up with Sedona, my 2 yo, while I try to squeeze in a few more moments of sleep before showering, dressing, etc.
7:45a I get Natalie, my 5 yo up. Depending on her mood, this can take anywhere from 10-15 min to get her up & ready for the day.
8a Breakfast for the girls & the hubs, make coffee, make the hubs lunch, make my breakfast, take my meds, make the girls chocolate milk. The girls get to watch some of their shows during this hour too.
9a get Sedona dressed & ready for her doctor’s apt (test for strep, fun times!)
9:15a Brush the girls hair, get coats & shoes on, then into the car, pinch Sedona’s fingers in her seatbelt, take her out of her carseat to comfort her, put her back in (while she fights me, damn, 2 yr olds are strong), then I run back inside to get a Band-Aid, come back, she doesn’t want it, go back inside for water she’s now screaming for. Come back to the car, now Natalie wants water, go back in the house, realize I forgot the diaper bag too.
9:25a Finally hit the road, praying there isn’t traffic because the appt. is at 9:45 and it takes 20-25 min to get there (yes, we do travel across town for our pediatrician because he is that awesome).
9:50a Yup, late for the appt., but Dr. is running behind already, so it didn’t matter.
9:52a Break up a sister-fight over a puzzle
10a Called to the office, and Sedona actually doesn’t scream through her vitals.
10:05a Break up a sister fight over a Dora book. Read Dora book to both of them.
10:10a Dr. looks Sedona over while she clings to me like a koala, does a strep test while Sedona screams. bloody murder, then I ask the Dr. to do a test on Natalie too, since she was the “carrier”.
10:20a Girls get suckers and are happy & quiet again for a few blissful moments. I can actually take a few seconds to wipe the sweat off of my face and check in with the hubs to let him know what’s going on.
10:35a FINALLY get the results from the strep test – negative! Woo-hoo!
10:37a Stop at the bathroom… oh yeah, I’m including it all.
10:45a Get coats on. Load up the girls in the car and jet home.
11a Drop off script for diaper rash cream at Walgreens.
11:05a Make the girls’ lunch.
11:10a Serve the girls lunch.
11:12a Yell at the girls to eat their lunch.
11:13a Throw a load of laundry in the washer.
11:15a Yell at the girls to eat their lunch.
11:16a Check my email from my iPhone.
11:20a Tell the girls they need to finish their lunch so we can get ready to take Natalie to school.
11:25a Clean up from lunch.
11:30a Help the girls with their coats, shoes and make sure there’s a snack for Natalie in her bookbag.
11:35a Load the girls back into the car. Natalie forgot her bookbag. Back in the house for that. Start the car. Forgot my phone. Stop the car, run back into the house, grab my phone, back to the car.
11:40a Hit the road for school.
11:55a Drop Natalie off at school. Fight with Sedona about wanting to stay and play. She screams as I’m carrying her out to the car. Everyone stares.
12:10p Back at home, get Sedona a cup of milk ready so she can take a nap.
12:20p Put Sedona down for a nap.
12:21p Put the wet clothes into the dryer.
12:22p TAKE A MOMENT FOR ME!! Actually sit down at the computer for an hour to work on my blog.
1:45p Realize I forgot to eat lunch. I microwave some soup and eat.
2p Pick up the toys & the book avalanche I’ve ignored all day.
2:20p Wake Sedona up from her nap. Hate it when I have to wake her! Get her ready to pick up Natalie from school.
2:30p Load back into the car, head to school.
2:50p Pick up Natalie from school.
3p Stop at Biggby for a Chai Charger, and an oatmeal cookie for the girls.
3:15p Neighbor calls to see if I’d like to bring the girls over at 4p.
3:20p Back home, I need to get the laundry folded, so I let the girls watch a show. Otherwise, I’ll be folding the laundry 10 times.
3:50p Walk over to the neighbor’s for a playdate. Before Sedona was old enough to play, I could just bring Natalie over, and she would play with Lidia while I got some things done at home. Now, Sedona wants to play too. So, I stay and visit with my neighbor, which is nice.
4:15p Lidia screams at Sedona for making a mess in her messy room. Lidia & Sedona cry.
4:30p Natalie locks Sedona in Lidia’s room. Sedona screams & cries. I yell at Natalie, Natalie cries.
4:45p Happy moment: all 3 girls color together… at the table my neighbor & I were having adult conversation at… but… ya gotta take in these moments!
5p I tell the girls we need to get home soon so I can get dinner in the oven. The girls run & hide.
5:15p I tell the girls we need to head home.
5:30p Yes, that’s right, I’m finally able to get the girls their shoes & coats back on and we walk home.
5:40p The girls play in the backyard while I throw dinner: calzones I made for cooking club in the oven.
5:55p The hubs comes home! YAY! Relief… sort of.
6p I work on Natalie’s registration forms for Kindergarten.
6:15p Pull my hair out in frustration as I realize I’m only halfway through the registration forms.
6:30p Dinner is ready. Fight with the girls to eat it, but they eventually do. Bonus for Momma!
6:40p I finally finish the registration forms and I can eat.
7p Half-assed dinner clean-up as the girls do their nightly crazy-running-around the house screaming & laughing.
7:15p I attempt to put the laundry away, but I’m interrupted with random Natalie questions.
7:30p I have to get myself ready for Cooking Club (I make 8 batches of meals that are frozen for 7 families, keep one, and we all trade. Voila! 8 unique meals that are ready to heat & eat.)
7:45p I load up all my meals, hit the road.
7:50p The hubs texts me to tell me I forgot the sauce. I turn around, grab the sauce, hit the road again.
8:10p I arrive at cooking club. Late… again! Enjoy a few moments of adult conversation… smile as I realize that “daddy” has to take care of bedtime alone this evening.
9p Head home.
9:15p Consider working out.
9:16p Reconsider working out.
9:17p Empty the dishwasher.
9:30p Clean up the toys & the book avalanche that somehow reappeared.
9:45p Veg out in front of the TV with the hubs, who I haven’t seen much of all day.
10:15p Yell at the hubs to stop snoring.
10:20p Yell at the hubs to stop snoring.
10:22p Yell at the hubs to stop snoring and tell him to go to bed.
10:30p I hit the sack, thank God for giving me the wonderful people in my life & the strength to get me through the day, and pray for strength for the next day.
10:32p Check my email from my phone, then Facebook & Twitter, then put it all away and try to sleep. Mind wanders with my to-do list for tomorrow.
11:30p Finally fall asleep.

Yes, this is a fairly typical day in my world. I tried to include as many details as my fried brain could gather, but honestly there were a lot of little things here & there that I didn’t. There’s always something to do. Usually fights to break up, manners to teach, accidents to clean, and tears & butts to wipe every single day. I’m always exhausted.

Why in the world would anyone want to live like this?

The thing is, I get so many random moments of joy throughout the day, and I try to focus on those blissful moments. Seeing the girls sitting in one chair together at the doctor’s office, enjoying their suckers; hearing big huge belly laughs as they chase each other around the house, and when they raced back home after playing with Lidia. These are the simple moments I cherish, and I know many Moms who work outside of the home may miss out on some of them. I try to take in these moments, and if they get in the way of me doing the random chores that constantly pile up, so be it. The chores will be there tomorrow. The kids will not be this age forever. One day, in the not-so-distant future, they won’t want to be around me at all. *tear*

I don’t know if my girls will ever truly understand & appreciate every big & little thing I do for them daily, and honestly, I don’t expect them to. To them, this is just life. Momma is home, Daddy goes to work. I have my share of meltdowns and days where I wish I could call in sick, or ya know, get paid for what I do. Instead, I learn what spoon is their favorite to eat with. I’m the first to understand what they are saying, even when they cry. I get to do silly things, like set up Natalie’s bear Sam in fun situations while she’s at school and when she comes home, I get to see how EXCITED she is when she thinks he’s written his name on her art table all by himself. Instead of $$ I’m paid with slobbery kisses, koala-bear hugs, laughter & I love yous. Just hope they turn out to be outstanding citizens of the world, because if they don’t, the blame probably won’t be placed on Daddy.