Tuesday, May 18, 2010


10 Things People Don’t Tell You about Babies and Toddlers:

1.       Babies do not own calendars. Due dates are just estimates and are not always accurate. No matter how much you plan and decide the baby has the final decision.
2.       There ARE stupid questions to ask doctors and nurses. I was a hefty baby when I was born weighing well over 9lbs. Because of all the “he’s gonna be huge” talk I was expecting a miniature Shaq. When I had this little 5 lb. baby placed in my arms my only reaction was to look at the nurse and ask seriously – “Is he a little person?”. Maybe I watched too much of TLC’s "Little People Big World" but it was still a serious question.
3.       The cat will care less about the new bundle of joy.  All the concern and prep for how the family pet will interact with the new baby went out the door when our cat, Minnie, sniffed him, heard him cry and ran away. She has ignored him ever since.
4.       Grandparents work against the parents.  No matter my rules that I would like for my son to follow such as no fish, juice or water only during the day, sticking to a nap schedule, etc. grandparents will do their own thing. I have a mostly Disney only rule in our house yet, once at the Grandparents SpongeBob is on and he’s eating salmon. 
5.       Baby’s poop is all colors and it’s normal.  Enough said.
6.       After having a child you will never sleep again. Even with a 20 month old, I have yet to have a great night’s sleep. I’m still trying to figure out who came up with the phrase “slept like a baby” since my son still wakes up in the middle of the night several times a week . 
7.       Toddlers do hit and yes that is your child that is hitting. I’ll never forget the day I pulled up to my son’s Day Care to pick him up and saw him bopping another little boy upside of the head. I was appalled yet knew I would be livid if it was my son who was getting bopped. We are working on the “No Hitting” rule, yet even at the playground he still runs up to random toddlers and tries to hit making me want to fall through a hole in the earth.
8.       As much as the toddler does that cute little dance, they will never do it when you want to show other people.  This is because they know you want them to do something and they want to make you look like a fool. Mission accomplished.
9.       When they are quiet, be concerned, very concerned. Anytime my son is in a separate room and quiet I have learned to run to that room. He is either playing with something he knows he shouldn’t be playing with, into something he knows he shouldn’t be into or eating toilet paper.
10.   When deciding on a name for a child test the name with   “(Name) STOP! “, STOP (Name)!”  387 times in 10 minutes. If the name doesn’t get on your nerves when saying it the 204th time then that’s probably the name you want.

Through all the sleepless nights, poopy diapers, and hours watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse I wouldn’t change it for the world.  While I didn’t know about these 10 things, I had a great teacher to test my patience, challenge me to be better, and to love me unconditionally.  Thank you Eric for the 10 lessons so far and looking forward to many more lessons to come.


  1. Perfect! Made me laugh a lot because it is so true. I especially feel you on - no sleep, not performing when you want them to, and when they are quiet be concerned! Very well written - will be sharing with other moms!

  2. Joi, you had me at #1. I loved this post from the moment you sent it. It made me laugh. It made me nod. It said so much in 10 easy steps. Grin.


  3. This was too cute and very true. Loved it!


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