Soul Stealer

That's right I had my soul stolen right out from underneath me as I fretted over what to do with a child that was in pain and I didn't know what to do. Me, the parent, the one charged with his care was at a loss...and alone...and we survived.

Liam and I went downtown to see the elephants from the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus dine on an 11,000 lb. buffet at Lexington Market. (More on that later.) We grabbed a bite inside the market and then headed on our way home. Liam didn't eat much, but we think he's teething so no big surprise. About 5 minutes out of the parking spot near the market and Liam starts screaming in pain, his shirt instantly soaked in giant crocodile tears, he's pointing at his mouth (I had just given him an apple to eat.), he's begging pleading for a "huck" (hug) and for mamma to make the pain stop. I look back I can't see what's hurting him as he continues to wail and there is no place to pull over, he continues to cry out for help and I can't find a place to stop. He's pointing at his mouth, he's screaming, he just wants a hug and finally I find a place and leap out of the car in a single bound. I come around to his seat and he keeps pointing at his mouth. He then grabs my finger and points it inside his mouth, wailing, screaming looking for me to make it stop , to find the answer and I can't find anything wrong. I look around his mouth, his lips and nothing seems amiss. I start to think about the nearest emergency room, and then I can't remember if all hospitals have emergency rooms and I just decide they have to help me. They have to help my son. So, I get in the car and get turned around, I guess it was the adrenaline and then I remember how to get to a hospital in the city. I explain to Liam that mamma is going to get us help. Someone who can help him. He just continues to sob as I work our way across the city and then he stops, he falls asleep, and I call Tim.

My body starts to catch up with the fright and Tim talks me through that he's teething and maybe the apple hurt to chew on. And, I make my peace with the situation and head home. Feeling like, I did the best I could.

Moments from home I turn around to find 2 large and 2 small hives on his face. Oh no, this isn't over. I missed something. I didn't make it better. I failed. I call Tim. I call the pediatrician and the nurse is convinced that it's a bee sting and to just give him some Benadryl. But, I know there wasn't a bee in the car. I don't know what it was, but it was from that apple or the pretzels in the market...or something in that market. It was an allergic reaction that upon closer inspection when we arrived home produced 7 hives and a little boy who wouldn't let go of me for even a second after I took him out of the car.

The hives have calmed down. He has a fever.

I never need to know this feeling again.