Allison

Hi Everyone!  I'm Allison from House of Hepworths!

Alissa has asked me to share a story about being a mom...

Before I muse on about motherhood, let me introduce myself first.  I am the creative genius :D behind House of Hepworths.  I love crafting, especially if I can do it for super cheap!  I like to buy stuff at thrift stores and transform it into amazing creations.  Here are a few of the things I've made recently:

        

        

If you like what you see, come over to House of Hepworths and poke around a bit!  I don't bite.  Much.

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Now for the fun part!  My rendition of motherhood.

Apparently some find me funny, hilarious I dare say, which is why I was asked to write on Alissa's blog.  No pressure or anything!  While I do try to be funny on my blog, they are one-liners here and there mixed with mostly pictures.  Writing an entire paragraph about motherhood that is also entertaining... Well, not sure how well this will turn out.  Bear with me.  I am not a writer by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact, I never even finished college, so I guess I'm not really an expert on anything at all, except I guess Motherhood.  (Full circle moment there.)

How has my perspective on Motherhood changed?  This question is laughable.  Simply laughable.  Just reading it sends me into a fit of giggles.  A long long time ago - like 9 years ago - I thought I knew how to be a mom.  The best saying I ever heard about motherhood is "The best mothers are the ones who don't have any children."  Oh how true that is!  I knew how to be a mom before I had kids.  And I was vocal about it.  I looked down on my friends with kids because I thought all of them were such crappy parents!  I mean, who lets their kids stay up past 7:00pm?  They must be the worst parents in the world!  Sugary treats before they are a year old?  Gasp.  What parent in their right mind would actually put on a Baby Einstein video for a baby?  A BABY!!  Why do babies even need to watch TV anyway?  What kind of mother would choose formula over breastfeeding?  They must be so selfish!  I can't believe any mother would let her kid out of the house in that outfit!  It doesn't even match!!  Does she realize her kid has food all over his face?  Why on earth does that kid not have any shoes on?  I mean, they are already 9 months old for crying out loud!  Just a diaper?  In public?  Are they CRAZY?!?!

Oh I just look back and laugh at myself.  And cringe.  I feel like I need to enter a 12-step program just so I can go around and apologize to all those poor mothers I judged for their crappy parenting.  It's just like they say about becoming your own mother... When I had kids I became the mother I judged and swore I'd never be.  (Not my mom, but all lazy careless moms who don't keep their kids clothes perfectly pressed).  Rarely do my kids get to bed on time.  These days, I'm happy if I can get my 5 year old out the door in a timely manner fully dressed.  I have to pick my battles.  And I've learned that the hard way.  I use to imagine that being a mom was fairytales and roses.  When I speak, the kids listen the first time and obey.  They always have clean clothes on and they love to eat vegetables.  They never talk back.  They walk gracefully on the balls of their feet.  I'm just happy if I can get my daughter to walk at all!  At almost six she still melts to butter at a moments notice and insists I carry her everywhere.  My 8 year old son would rather sort his pokemon cards than do anything I ask him to do, and he thinks that a burnt orange UT shirt and red basketball shorts actually match.  I'm lucky if I can get them both in the same place at the same time.  They are complete opposites, including the direction they like to run.  Most days I feel like I'm trying to wrangle two wild monkeys into a cage.  At the end of the day, I'm lucky if they match and don't have food on their shirt.  No, I take that back.  I'm lucky if they are injury free and didn't have to go to the ER!  I'm lucky if I can manage both into the shower a few times a week.  If they make it to school on time (and with clean teeth) I consider it a successful day!  Before I had kids I pictured my future life as something right out of Annie or a Shirley Temple movie.  These days I feel like I'm living in a three-ring circus. 

If you are kid-less, cut us moms some slack.  When you see a mom struggling two kids and a baby in a stroller, don't snicker.  Hold the door open for her.  When you see kids in mismatched clothes, don't laugh - be happy they are at least wearing any.  Before I had kids I had huge dreams and ambitions for each of them.  I still have high hopes, but the only reoccurring dream I have is that they and I all make it to their adulthood alive.  Lord help us all if they ever figure out that I have no clue what I'm doing and that they really run the show!  As long as they think I'm in control I'm doing okay, but the day they realize that I am just winging it and living on a prayer, I'm done for.  And for my son who's sharp as a tack, I think my days are numbered.