I'd like to intoduce you to my mom...

"Momma your car is Lightening McQueen."

"Daddy's car is Mater."

"That's right buddy, momma has the cool car."

"Daddy's car is the rusted out hillbilly car. Make sure to tell him that."

"I will."

"Momma I am a digger truck and you are a hooker (tow truck)."

"Ahh, just like 'mater huh? That's nice buddy."

*TO WOMAN IN TARGET*

"My momma's a hooker!"

OH GOD KILL ME NOW!