Agony Unfolds

So, I'm testing out a product this week for a product review/giveaway next Monday (Check back to win free stuff!) when holy mother of God it tried to kill me. Two days ago was my first brush with the death claw. As I began to start this product it's "death claw" dug sharply into the flesh of my skin and wouldn't let go. I yelped. Tim asked if I needed help. YES, HELP NEEDED!! He said he'd be there in a sec as he finished something up and I squirmed thinking how could I stand it when finally I got it to unleash it's deadly power.

But, I didn't learn.

Yesterday, as Liam and I were hanging out I again got my finger stuck in this contraption. I yelped. I danced around the room. Liam sensing my urgency as I tried to use a knife to free myself wrapped his whole self around my legs, lodged his head between my knees trying to give me the support he knew I needed. But, now I was yielding a knife, lugging a two year old and screaming out in pain. It was clear that this wasn't working and I attempted scissors. As, my finger began turning colors of purple and blue I now had to seriously think about lugging my pantless, diaperless child and myself to Patient First all the while my finger is stuck inside a devil contraption, oh the embarrassment. I did finally free myself and then only then did I read the packaging. Yes, the packaging where it clearly states "DO NOT PUT FINGER INSIDE".

Noted, I will be reading packaging and directions for all things now, even things that I think I can figure out on my own.

And, um...come Monday you might want to go the bathroom before you read the review because you might wet yourself from laughing so hard at how lame I am to get my finger stuck in such a frivolous thing.

Thank you and Good Night!