Racing Heart

So, I'm sitting at the kitchen table putting the finishing touches on thank you notes for Liam's birthday when I hear this unnecessarily loud bang/thump/call-it-what-you-will from the basement. It sounds like someone forcibly slammed the washer lid closed. However, having thrown a load in the dryer and another in the washer this morning I know that the lid didn't miraculously "fall" since it's already down. And, the logical side of me says that something probably just fell, but Liam is sleeping and I'm home with a toddler alone and as much as I like to think I am Superwoman, I know that I am not likely to ever overtake an intruder. And, I begin to panic. I think about calling 911 and then decide I'll call Tim first. He talks me thru that it's probably just something that went bump in the night day. He asks if I went down and checked and I haven't for the reasons stated above. I ran up to the office which is immediately adjacent to Liam's room moments after I heard the SLAM. He suggests going to a neighbor and asking if they'd come look with me, but that would mean a) leaving Liam home alone for 30 seconds with a possible intruder or b) waking him up and then doing who knows what with him while I go check. And, I decide to stay put. I pull up the computer, but am acutely alert to the sound of the keys typing and am afraid I will miss the gentle sneaking of someone up the stairs. I mean really, what. would. I. do.??

Having been broken into a few years ago I have to say it's my number one irrational mommy fear and has been since the day we put Liam in his own room at 4 weeks old. That someone would get into the house and the hallway would keep me from getting to his room, to protect him, to save him, to whatever needed to be done.

My whole purpose in life now is to protect this precious cargo from everything and anything forever and ever and ever.