Ruthanne

 February 12

Saying that we appreciate your prayers last night and today is a lame understatement. I believe your prayers held us together...made us hear the strange noises Carter was making, helped me keep my sanity and know what to do when Scott screamed "He's turning blue!" Your prayers were critical while an ambulance and ?? how many other emergency vehicles pulled up here, and four emergency medical personnel tromped through our house at midnight with their equipment and helped us tend to Carter on his bedroom floor...right next door to Lincoln - who slept through the whole thing.

They immediately checked his heart rate and oxygen levels. Heart rate was good, O2 was low. They gave him oxygen and he slowly started regaining consciousness. After establishing that he had a fever, they suspected a febrile seizure, but recommended we take him by ambulance (in case it were to happen again on the way) to the hospital to have him checked out.

At the ER, they did a flu test and a chest x-ray - both came back normal. The doctor also ordered some blood tests, and they decided to put an IV port in since they had to stick him anyway. THAT was hard. This was at 3 am after a seizure. The child was tired and cranky to say the least! But when they busted out the popsicles, he perked up. :)

Doctor said everything looked normal and he just had some stupid virus that caused the fever. The fever caused the seizure. And while the seizure served to scare the ____ out of Scott and me, it was basically harmless. Time to take that IV port out of his hand and go home and go back to bed.

Falling asleep after putting him in his bed was challenging. I begged God for a picture to think of when I closed my eyes...something to replace the images of the evening that kept playing over and over in my head. He reminded me of Isaiah 40:11 "Like a Shepherd He will tend His flock, IN HIS ARMS HE WILL GATHER THE LAMBS, AND CARRY THEM IN HIS BOSOM..." (thanks, Kristen Mitchell!!) As I lay there, adrenaline still running through my veins, I felt like someone needed to be watching him. Someone needed to stay awake and watch him sleep to make sure he didn't seize again. I was exhausted, and cried and cursed myself for needing sleep when my baby needed me to protect him...

Again the Lord was faithful to bring scripture to mind. "I will lie down and sleep in peace. Lord, You alone keep [my children] safe." Psalm 4:8. As if I thought that staying awake and WATCHING him would do anything to protect him. Do I really think that it's ME who keeps him safe throughout the day when I'm with him all day? My wisdom? My thorough care for him? My thoughtful consideration of his specific needs? Baloney. That is false security. The truth is, I have been given these precious boys only so that I can turn around and give them right back to Him. HE is the only one who can effectively protect them - body and soul.

I did well today - watching him up, playing, was reassuring that their diagnosis was sound. This was not an epileptic child - not even a very sick one. He was fine and last night was probably an isolated incident. But putting him to bed was a different story. I found myself having him sit on the potty for longer than was really necessary...straightening his room...rocking, rocking, rocking...I realized I was stalling. When I finally sat down and prayed with him in the dark, I wept. God didn't expect me to put him down in the very bed he had a seizure in and walk out of the room, did He?! Doesn't someone need to stay up all night and watch him? Maybe Scott and I could take shifts...

"...He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." Psalm 121:3-4

I can sleep because He doesn't. Thank You, Lord!

Please pray that last night's seizure is the last Carter will ever experience. Please also pray that I will be able to rest tonight and from now on, assured of God's love for my child, for His unwavering watch over him. Pray that I will be able to keep that picture in my head: of my Lord carrying my children in His arms...close to His heart.

Thanks so much to all of you! We love you and appreciate your prayers and concern for us!