Monday, May 10, 2010

Ellen

I want to share two stories about being a mom, one positive an one not so positive, because that is what being a mom is about…good and bad times.

I’ll start with the bad…well really more like depressed. About one week after my C-Section with my first son, I called my friend to chat. As soon as I heard her voice, I started to tear up and just started bawling uncontrollably. I didn’t even get one word out before she said, “Yeah…post-partum sucks!” Suddenly, with just those few words, I felt so much better. Just that little bit of acknowledgment that although many have great deliveries and bounce back quickly, just as many have a tough time physically and emotionally, helped. After many weeks, and many, many conversations with good friends, and many, many tears shed on my husband’s shoulder, I slowly adjusted and have loved every minute of being a mom since (Ok, maybe not EVERY minute.) Even though I am fine now, the memories of that initial distress are still with me. I wish, along with all of the “what size is your baby now” facts in the “What to Expect” book there was more than one brief entry about “The Baby Blues.” I wish, for all expectant moms out there, that there was a truly honest and inhibited account of the range of emotions women can go through. I sense that things are changing, that women are more willing to talk about their Mommy experiences good and bad. Maybe after decades of “Working Mom” magazines, and the “you can have it all with ease” mantra, women are starting to cut themselves a little slack. I hope so!

Now, for a positive story. During the same time as the story above, my mother-in-law came to stay with us for thirty days. Many of you may be thinking, “that sounds awful, I wouldn’t my mother-in-law staying with me for 30 days.” For me, it was a blessing. My mother-in-law is a blessing; she taught me so much in 30 days about how to be a mother. For those of you that know me, you also know that my mother-in-law does not speak any English. I speak Spanish at around a pre-k level (maybe pre-pre-k.) Somehow, she managed, and still manages to communicate to me the secrets of being a loving, reliable, strong, stable and giving mother. I love my husband, but am truly grateful to know his mom.

And finally, an image, I call it “Warm Babies in the Morning”

3 comments:

  1. Love your stories. It will be wonderful when we can offer up to new moms in some years what our wonderful moms and mother-in-laws did for us! I have had amazing help from them too.

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  2. I wonder, too, why the books aren't written that tell the whole truth. Maybe only someone who's already a mom can handle the truth! It might scare away potential moms!

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  3. I totally dig the warm babies in the morning.

    Some day I'll write that book. I'll collect those stories and hopefully others will too. Because it is time that women know what things "could" be like...great, awful, heartwrenching and hilarious...all of it.

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