Saturday, May 1, 2010

Amy

Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Ben's surgery

When I announced I was pregnant, people congratulated me all the time, telling me how wonderful parenthood is and how much I'll enjoy raising this little baby into adulthood. Nobody told me about how often I would be out of my mind with worry. Today was one of the worst, as far as worrying goes.

Ben had to have tubes put in his ears today. No big deal, except he had to have anesthesia. They totally knocked him out, and I was convinced my baby was never going to wake up again. I'm not kidding- last night I made sure to hug him good night extra long just in case I would never get that chance again.

Here is a little run-down of our morning:

6:00- alarm goes off, Scott gets in the shower. I lie in bed trying to come up with excuses to not take Ben in.
6:10- Not being able to think of any reasons that anyone else will accept, I get out of bed and get dressed. No shower for me- there's no time.
6:15- I get Ben up, change his diaper, keep him in his pj's (hey, I want him to be comfy at the hospital!)
6:35- We're out the door. Ben has had absolutely nothing to eat or drink since the night before and he's pretty mad that we've left the house before breakfast.
7:00- We arrive at the hospital. Ben quickly forgets that we have failed to feed him, and spends the next 45 minutes running around the waiting room, charming everyone else in there, while Scott and I fill out forms and talk to the nurse. The receptionist and other nurses have dubbed him "track star" because of his ability to run behind the receptionist's desk faster than LoLo Jones.
7:45- Another nurse comes and takes us back to do a pre-op physical. I consider telling them that Ben ate some breakfast this morning in order to get out of the surgery, but decide that lying would be bad. Everything's fine; Ben's set to go.
7:55- The anesthesiologist and the doctor come to talk to us and reassure us that everything is going to be just fine. I have my doubts, and hold Ben extra tight.
8:00- The nurse comes to take Ben away from us so they can do the surgery. I'm not ready for it, and I ask him for lots of kisses, which he happily gives me. Finally I let her take him, and Ben starts crying. He's scared. He wants his mommy and daddy. Who is this stranger taking him away? Scott hurriedly ushers me out into the waiting room so that Ben doesn't have to see us anymore. I'm now crying, and Scott's trying to console me.
8:05- We sit in the waiting room. I'm pretending to look at a magazine, but I can't concentrate because I'm sure my son will not be waking up again.
8:09- My foot is bobbing so much that Scott has to put his hand on my leg and tell me again that everything is just fine. He says, "I bet Ben is just falling asleep right now".
8:10- The doctor comes out. Uh oh. This cannot be good. I'm positive he has horrible news to tell me. He says, "Everything went fine. There was some fluid in his ears but we got that suctioned out. He should be waking up in a few minutes, and when he does we'll call you back." Really? It's already all over? Wow! Now I worry that he's not going to wake up.
8:15- They call us back to a room, where a nurse is holding a wailing Benjamin. I guess it's normal for kids to wake up crying. The nurse looks at us and says "He's doing better than most kids do. What a trooper!"
8:16- Ben's in my lap, and I'm breathing for the first time since last night. He's drinking milk and eating Cheerios.
8:30- We're heading home, Ben's alert yet a little mad that we put him through that ordeal. When we get home, he eats a few bites of McDonald's hotcakes (he always gets McD's after being tortured at the doctor!), then gets down to play as if nothing major has happened this morning.

My son is my hero!

4 comments:

  1. Amy- thanks for your story! I am sure that every gray hair on my head is from one of those many worry filled situations with the kids being sick, me being irrational, etc! It is amazing what they can endure at such a young age. Good luck with the rest of your journey in mommy boot camp!

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  2. Having never experienced this, I can't imagine and yet I can. I can see the overwhelming fear and the overwhelming desire to help your child both competing for you heart. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Ben is very lucky to have you.

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  3. It never ceases to amaze me how resilient children are. Liam is constantly teaching me that he can bounce back from anything. After a fall, or a bump, or whatever else that I am just sure are going to leave him seriously hurt, he'll get up ad go on like nothing happened.
    -Tim

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  4. My daughter has had several surgeries, the first at 6 months of age. Boy, I know how stressful they are! And how amazing our little ones are to recover so quickly.

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