Sunday, June 27, 2010

FATHERHOOD or No! No! Don’t EAT the bug!

(Since I'm out of town and not sure what my Wi-Fi options will be, check out this great post from my friend Kevin.)

Fatherhood! What do I think of Fatherhood? Well, as the father of two small boys, Ryan, 2 and Nicholas, 4 months, let me start by explaining my initial reaction. Sheer and utter terror!

Having children had been a very set plan in the lives of my wife and I. Job, then house, then one child followed by another two years later. When we found out we were pregnant with our first child it was an exciting time however, for me, I felt a lot like I was looking at someone’s else’s life through a window. I read the books, went to the classes, learned the breathing, bought the supplies (met the muppet boob – anybody else done this? CRAZY) and redecorated the spare guest room into a nursery. But from the time my wife told me we were expecting I felt like a countdown had started towards the big day with the main question being, are you really ready to be a Dad?

When the big day came I shambled down from our bedroom at six in the morning. Bleary eyed and still asleep, Christine told me that today was the day we would be meeting the newest member of our family. And… I…. proceeded…. to….check out.

She went to call the doctor and at a time when I should have been packing, or loading the car, or calling members of our family, I was in the living room, building a pack-n-play. Now I am a pretty cool headed guy and most things don’t phase me. But finally getting to the point, mere hours away, where I would have to answer that question, “Are you Ready?” that was some scary stuff and my brain handled it the best way it could. It closed up shop. Gone for summer vacation!

I still remember the look in my wife’s eyes when she walked into the living room that I had now turned into a construction zone. It was like a frog had suddenly grown out of my forehead.

Wife: “Kevin, what are you doing?”
Husband: “Uh…putting together the Pack-N-Play…. yeah…. putting that together.”
Wife “Why would you be doing that, right now?”
Husband:;Uh…well….uh….Because I don’t know what else to do.”
Wife: “Here’s an idea. PACK THE CAR!”

Love my wife! Isn’t she great!

Trip to the hospital with that question still in my head, Am I ready? I’m not ready…Am I ready?

Into the room. I’m not ready….
During delivery. I surely am not ready
Lots of craziness. Definitely not ready!

And then my son was born and I watched, literally watched him take the fist ever breath he had had in his entire life! And I was ready.

In that moment I thought about T-ball and Karate lessons, science fairs and bullies, first cars and college. I’m not sure I am ready for all that, but I am ready for this. Two of the bluest eyes I had ever seen opened up to me and a little hand grabbed my fingers, and I was ready.

My beautiful wife, through tears of pain and joy, hugged that little bundle close to her and lit up like the sun, and I was ready for that.

If there is a moral to this story I guess it would be that you are probably never ever really ready. It’s like when you asked your wife to marry you. You knew she was gonna say yes, right up until you took that ring out of your pocket and asked the question, and then all bets were off.

Ready? I wasn’t and then I was. And as for college, girls, cars and whatnot, I’m not ready for that just yet ‘but you know what.. I am ready for today and I am pretty sure I will be ready for tomorrow and that’s how the little guys and me are gonna keep on taking it.

Oh…and he ate the bug.

1 comment:

  1. I stumbled onto your website and thought you might be interested in checking out our pamphlet on fatherhood. You can read more about it at

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